The BJP Govt: Giving India wings

The BJP Govt: Giving India wings. This Government has achieved what no other government has been able to.

If you don’t get the sarcasm in the opening lines of this rant, let me clarify this for you.

Firstly, unlike most who’ve expressed furore over the recent Kathua tragedy, I am not at all surprised at the reaction of PM Modi or the lack of it. At times, silence speaks louder than words. Modi ji has, over all these years, clarified his stance by staying silent on issues like these. (He may have spoken on the issue now, but delivering a statement after days of criticism on Social and Mainstream Media, is nothing but a forced reaction, one that was carefully crafted after the PR / Image Manager averred in a board-room of sorts “Sir, ab toh bolna hee padega”). I am not making this blog post to add to the criticism of PM Modi, neither am I going to speak about the double standards of (supposedly) one of our most powerful and vocal women leaders, Smriti Irani, nor am I going to allude at how Republic TV and Times Now are shamelessly and blatantly licking the Government’s orange ass.

I’m writing this piece for a far more important reality that this event has shown us a reflection of. It is by all means the biggest achievement of the incumbent government; I believe this is something no other government has been able to achieve in India. I’m referring to the polarization of people’s views basis propagated political ideology. Yes, there was always a left-wing and a right-wing, and there have always been people inclined to one of the two. But the kind of apathy from the right-wing-janta for the Kathua rape victim that has been brought to the fore is what’s shown us how callous we’ve become on account of favouring a political party / ideology. What is appalling is that there have been absolutely no statements condemning the Kathua rape coming from my right-wing-inclined friends / acquaintances on my Social Media Feed. The handful ones that have been there have come along with abominable appendages like “Having said that…..”, “What about the rapes by Muslims….”, “But this isn’t about religion”, etc. There is not one post I’ve seen on my Facebook timeline from any of my otherwise vocal right-wing-inclined friends / acquaintances, condemning the issue outright. And that disturbs me. The realization that propagated political ideology has softened the stance of a huge mass of people on an issue that warrants no tolerance, has hit me hard.

In the midst of the entire Kathua issue where all these people have remained silent, I see Facebook posts from them lauding the efforts of Modi ji for planning to bring to us a Super-Expressway from Delhi to Mumbai. It’s like, for them the Kathua rape didn’t happen at all, or if it did, “toh ye sab hota rehta hai, I won’t comment” or “Yes, it’s sad that there was this rape in Kathua, but what about the rapes of Hindu women by Mus….”. I’m not concerned about the views of a certain Mr.PSK (an ex-colleague who has been posting all kinds of crap on Facebook after the Kathua tragedy) and his like, since someone who’s aged 50+ and has been an unconditionally staunch supporter of the BJP, is largely incorrigible and incapable of being educated on the importance of empathy, compassion and peaceful co-existence. But what concerns me is that some of the right-wing-inclined friends I’m referring to are among the most compassionate people I’ve known. These are also people who are young, gullible and currently in the process of finding their identities and validating the belief-systems that were imposed on them by their families and peers. If these people become so hardened by ideology that renders them deaf and blind to anything that points fingers at the potential culpability of such ideology, then we are looking at an entire generation that is being bred as intolerant and rigid.

Modi ji has achieved what no other government could achieve. Modi ji has influenced the mindsets of billions. Modi ji has polarized billions. Modi ji has given India wings.

Should I also laud the efforts of Modi ji? Why not?!

Waah Modi ji Waah

One ad that gets the throne

So Neetika shared this link on my timeline last night. http://oneadtorulethemall.tumblr.com/
I thought it was awesome and so I decided to spoof it!
(Imitation is the best form of flattery, Valerio Amaro! Cheers!! 🙂

Hey there! My name is Yash Kumar, and i got a boring job.
I have two passions in life: advertising and Game of Thrones. I wanted to find a way to combine them, so i asked myself “What would happen if G.R.R Martin worked in advertising?”

The apostrophe’s catastrophes

“Hey guyzz check out maah pic’s……“.

This is one line I almost incessantly keep coming across on Facebook and I avow that I am so bloody pissed off after each instance of having read this, that I chose to blurt out my anger at my keyboard tonight. After months of success at my quest for abstaining from blogging, I have finally succumbed and yielded to the temptation of writing another blog. But is blogging the best way to blurt it out? Well… Why not? For it is better to shout it out loud in the air than to the face of someone. It is not good, these days, to be critical of someone, and that too, publicly, for you may not know how well that may be received. People these days do not take long to feel bad and then take revenge for the “humiliation” you’ve caused to them. You might not even realize how quickly you’ve become the ‘Censorious, Loathsome Asshole’ of your college. And then it strikes you that the one you’d been critical of on Facebook, has given it back to you right in the face.

So I think it is in everybody’s interest including mine and yours, that I express my feelings pertaining to the above-mentioned line, at this space.

“Hey guyzz check out maah pic’s……“.

Okay so this guy sounds to be a bit of a pervert who’s posting someone’s mother’s (maah) pics online. But I understand that this wannabe American ‘accent’ will disappear as he grows up. It is not even an accent in the true sense, as most of these maah da laadlas are just keen on writing maah rather than speaking it. But after having read so many of these maah statuses and updates on Facebook, I’ve almost become immune to it. I choose to pardon the immature, unwise youth who resorts to such a crime. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned!!!

What I do find hard to be immune to is the latter part (pic’s). Why on earth would you use a punctuation mark without asking yourself the need for it!! Even a thumb-sucking kid knows what apostrophes are used for. Then why is that almost everyone these days seems to be so generous with the use of apostrophes.

Apostrophe, apostrophe everywhere, not a single one that makes sense!! I understand that sometimes it is done inadvertently, but I somehow feel the need to discourage this generous use of apostrophes. In one of my recent AimCATs, I had come across a passage that suggested that the wider the reach of a medium, the greater the degradation of the quality of whatever it contains, and the quicker the downfall of the intellect of whoever has access to it. True. I feel that if this incorrect usage is allowed to blossom, it might lead to a case of people taking it as correct and appropriate, and this misconception might stay with them forever, unless they are corrected. And you know that beyond a certain age, some human beings are incorrigible.

And startlingly, this is what appears to be happening. Quite a few people have started resorting to this excessive and incorrect usage of the apostrophe. This category of people, quite surprisingly, also includes some of those who’re rather well-versed with the language and who are not used to making inane errors while writing. This surely substantiates the thought mentioned in that AimCAT passage. It just amazes me how someone so good with such stuff can make such a faux pas.

The intention here is not to take potshots at anyone. It’s just to convey, that everyone makes mistakes, but this is one mistake that I think is being repeated over and over again, and it should be corrected. You make mistakes. I make mistakes. I may have made quite a few above as well. The rectification process cannot start until I am told about what the mistake is.

Alarming as it is, this Acute Apostrophe-Generosity (AAG) is spreading like fire!! It is like a pandemic which has already claimed many victims! The worst cases reported in Delhi, have shown the following symptoms:

1. “I am very fond of Punjabi’s”
2. “I will miss my college day’s”
3. “I love my friend’s”

and many more….

I understand that sometimes while writing something in the plural, you might be in a fix, particularly with abbreviations. For instance, an Indian Institute of Technology is abbreviated as IIT. But while referring to all the Indian Institutes of Technology, people sometimes write IIT’s. Well, although this is not nearly as bad as “I love my friend’s“, this isn’t the correct usage. The correct usage is simply IITs. Even ‘IIT’s is somewhat acceptable. Therefore, if you really wanna be generous with those apostrophes, don’t use just one of them! Use two quotation marks instead!!

But again, when indulged in a casual communication while SMS or chatting, where almost everything is in the same case (either all uppercase or all lowercase), I guess the apostrophe is acceptable, as “i wanna make it to the iit’s” more successfully conveys the message than “i wanna make it to the iits“.

I never thought anything could bother me more than the “you didn’t went there?” pandemic that I’d grown up witnessing. But the little apostrophe sure has given the two past-tenses in the same sentence a run for their money!!

And lastly, the other side of the coin! The ones who miserly use the apostrophe, though smaller in number, have also made some sort of a faux pas here and there. For example, someone who had wanted to write,”who’re coming?” on a girl’s Facebook wall, ended up writing “whore coming?” !!!

Therefore, use wisely your apostrophes…. and protect yourself from such catastrophes!! Issued in public interest!

Okay I’m done. 1000 words and countless minutes gone!! I’m again gonna take a break from blogging now!! Why not??!!

Victorious us!

Well I’ve got to make this blog post a short one, primarily because I haven’t got many Joules of energy left to finance my fingers. Yeah I’d rather write the no. of packets of energy left in my body in terms of Joules rather than calories because 1 calorie = 4.186 Joules, or conversely, 1 Joule = 0.23 calories. So the no. of energy packets seem to be more this way. Who cares about the size of the packets anyway! It’s the numbers that matter!

“What’s the reason for the bankruptcy of the Joules?”, you might think. Well, it’s just that the sports week of our college has commenced and I’m participating in almost all the events with the same amount of vigour and alacrity as a Ram Sena ‘activist’ on a Valentine’s Day, determined to convert the city into one where everybody is either married or single and not ready to mingle at any cost!

Unlike our 1st and 2nd years, we haven’t been able to play so much this year owing to various reasons. Consequently, we all were going to play after a huge gap. Our form, our fitness, our ability wasn’t doubtful. There was no doubt we were rock-bottom!!!

But the results suggested otherwise!! We won our 1st cricket match in a cliffhanger and our 1st volleyball match very easily. The volleyball game was against a bunch of frivolous ECE 2nd year guys and beating them in straight sets was cakewalk.

Coming to the REAL thing, cricket. Man! What a match. We were yet again faced with a team of the same year as us, for the third year in succession. ECE-1 3rd year is by and large a class of amiable guys and in which I have quite a few friends. We were faced up against them. The amity and friendly spirit was not on exhibition in the match, though. The first ball and I missed and here comes the first swear-word! I miss another and even more sledging, this time cadenced to an even higher pitch, is delivered even as i stand silent on the cricket pitch. I was unperturbed by all those tricks the kids employed and was just waiting for one nice ball to get off the mark. And there she came! Full, marginally outside the off stump and 2 seconds later, into the fence for four! The cover drive is my all-time favorite stroke. I seem to play it pretty well because of the adulations I keep getting for it! My friends in EEE and ECE-1 loved it! More than the four runs added to the total, what the cover drive did was that it acted as a cat who caught every sledging fielder’s tongue and more importantly, gave me the confidence to go on. And I did. A few balls later, I cut loose and scored three more boundaries and a six! Trying to further up the ante, I popped one up into the sky and gave KisKilaash an easy catch.

Don played even better, scoring 40 and at a very good strike rate. But when we both got out, things slowed down for a while. At that point of time what we required was a quick cameo and that is exactly what we got from Jaanu. I couldn’t see much of his innings as I was busy consuming my favorite drink manufactured by God himself, H₂O. But I did see the six he hit of the penultimate delivery and that was fab! And so was his score, a quick 22 not out. And so was the team’s score, 111 in 10 overs. The score looked impressive but the ‘unlucky Nelson’ figure was indeed a sign of things to come.

We did not win it as easily as we had thought we would after having posed a humongous total. Ganja, WeWake and Don bowled pretty well and conceded not so many in the first 6 overs, 50 to be precise. They needed 62 in 4. A big ask. Yet the resilient Sannatta fought back for his team, smashing RohitJaat and AmarDubai out of the park on many occassions. They scored 47 in the next three @ 15.66 runs per over. They needed 15 in the final over. RohitJaat recommended his compatriot RanaTMT for the same, but I volunteered to bowl. Don had no hesitation handing me the ball.

KartikNotCallingKartik played the first ball of the last over. He edged it, but our wicket-keeper Chus dropped it. I was furious at him  for dropping the catch and conceding a single. But the very next ball, he compensated for it by taking an even better catch and that too of the more dangerous and well-set Sannatta. The next 4 balls resulted in 2,W,4,0. We won by 7 runs. Unlucky Nelson countered by Lucky 7 !!

You are on a high all day when you win, but when you wake up the next day you realize your body is saying to you,”Why did you do this to me?”!! Body-aches everywhere. On days like these, even your friendly Indian-style toilet pot comes across as a bane to you. And it is bound to happen when you play after so many days. Trust me, mard ko bhi dard hota hai.

A few minutes, many words and a few calories later, I realize that I haven’t kept my word of keeping this post short. I can go on blabbering for so long, even while writing. But then, why not??!!

Love, Sex, Dhokha, Shock, Fortune, Misfortune aur dhokha aur dhokha aur dhokha

I’ve seen two amazing films in the past 20 hrs. First, ‘Waltz with Bashir’ on TV late at night. Slept at 3:30. Woke up at 7. My head was hurting having read those subtitles for over 2 hrs. and having slept for under 4. Despite that, I did wake up early. What’s more, today was  a holiday. This holiday was given by our college to tell the world that we’re celebrating the success of the hugely unsuccessful fest, Xtasy2010. Granting a holiday is the perfect misleading tool used by College Principals to impose onto everyone that the event was indeed a success, even if it was a sucker. At least the holiday would make some students ‘ecstatic’.

I wasn’t really ecstatic at the idea of having another day off. I had had so many of them of late. And I did nothing at home. I was in no mood of spending another day of luxury at home, and then regretting before sleeping for not having done anything worthwhile throughout the day. My friend Bebby had informed me of the holiday the night before. But I kept it hidden from Khanna, Budapest & Shahrukh, thinking that I could keep it a secret and take them to college with me. A day out with friends was all I required. I really needed an off. An off from all those offs!

But it was not to be.  Shahrukh had just woken up from his erotic sleep by the time I had left home. He called me up to tell me of the holiday. Khanna had also come to know of it through some source. He had told even Budapest about it, who went home and slept off. There, my plan had failed. I had no plan B. I shamelessly told Khanna of my intentions. LSD was on my mind. Khanna agreed! ‘Love, Sex aur Dhokha’ was a film Khanna was unlikely to say ‘no’ to. The story of his own life can also be named LSD. So it was confirmed. LSD at either Rajouri or Pitampura. Khanna had also roped in RomeoRancho and i-raypest for the same. They were waiting for us at different locations. We steered through the traffic, picked them up and fled to Fun, Pitampura. Within minutes, we were squatted at the Silver Seats of row K. 60 bucks for those is a good enough bargain.

Love, Sex aur Dhokha: The movie began in the most unconventional and bizarre fashion, but creative nonetheless. It was a joyride till the Intermission. Very well made. Fantastic Screenplay. As real, rustic and earthy as it gets. A very important film as far as Hindi Cinema is concerned. Just goes on to show the changing face of Indian Cinema.

15 minutes after the Intermission, Bugging Bebby‘s message flashed on each of mine and Khanna’s mobile screens. It read: RESULT AA GAYA

Shock: We looked at each other shell-shocked. Khanna announced that all of us will switch off our mobiles for the remaining part of the movie. We arrived at a consensus, to watch the entire movie, and then to rush to the nearest cyber-cafe. The remaining part of the movie wasn’t as good as the 1st half. Or maybe it seemed to us that way. We found it hard to laugh even on the funniest of jokes. Yes, we did laugh, but in a rather apprehended manner. Even Khanna‘s trademark thahaakaa had disappeared. As soon as the movie’s final dialogue was delivered, we jumped off our seats and rushed out in pursuit of a cyber-cafe. Khanna was adamant we saw it ourselves, but we were getting restless and couldn’t stop ourselves from calling up Bebby.

Fortune: Bebby said I was all-clear, but had just managed passing marks in 3 subjects. Fortunate, because a mark or two here and there, and I would have been in serious trouble. But frankly, I didn’t expect even coming this close. I had thought that except Digital Electronics, I’d clear the remaining rather easily. CommSys was another vulnerable area, but I still thought I’d manage 55+ easily in it. 50*, 50*, 50* is as fortunate as it can get in IP University, and  some of you IP students, I know, are really envious reading my hat-trick score! I completely empathize with you!

Misfortune: The 1st and 3rd stars I accept, but the 2nd one is not even remotely acceptable. I mean, I was one of the best in class when it came to OOPS. I mean I didn’t even study myself because everything written in the book was known to me. I taught many people, including Khanna and Jaanu. I remember teaching Jaanu on our way back in the car before each of the internals and the external. I remember going to that brothel-like room in Multan Nagar where the bad boys put up during the exams, and helping them pass the exam. Each one of them has scored more than me in OOPS. The old chaps told you,“God helps those who help themselves”. What they probably didn’t tell you is,“God screws those who help others”!!

Dhokha: I do feel good that my pupils have scored well. But, think of it, I have probably scored the 2nd lowest in the externals amongst those who’ve passed OOPS. When Bebby told me my OOPS marks, my first reaction wasn’t “OOPS!!”. It was,”Fuck!! Fuck IP”! I’ve let myself down. This was my favourite subject in my 3 years of engineering till now. I haven’t done this. I can’t. I expect 75 and I get 50*. IPU sucks! This HAS TO be an IPU blunder. Man I could’ve scored over 70pc had this OOPS blunder not taken place. Drat!
I’ll be applying for re-eval asap. Why not?!

Aur dhokha: Apparently, everyone except me and a few others were fucked up after they wrote the OOPS paper. I was pretty confident that the programs that I wrote in the paper were cunning masterpieces and was pretty certain of a very good score in OOPS. The others, though, were considering tracking down and bashing the paper-setter. Ironically, they passed with flying colors and I stand blotted by a Black Star that’ll haunt me for many days to come. Could it be worse??? Why not?!!!

Aur dhokha: I got a call from Shahrukh. He wanted to know his result, basically in how many he had passed. I had to tell him 6 times, reiterating the same thing, to bring him close to believing that he had passed the OOPS paper. He was shell-shocked as if he’d seen Saddam Hussein’s ghost making out with Sarah Palin. He was even more shocked when he was told his actual marks, 49 on 75! That’s probably the highest Shahrukh has ever managed in his engineering career. Even more shocking is the fact that he had left 2 entire units in the paper (those amount to 25 marks out of 75). This means that he scored 49 out of the 50 he touched. Efficiency=98%. Well, now, I think, even to you, the sight of Saddam’s ghost making out with Palin would seem more believable! Why not?!!

Rising before the sun…

A Sunday morning has always been marked by the sun welcoming me to yet another day of my life, almost literally screaming at my face, urging me to wake up. It never ceases to be at its brightest whenever it wakes me up every Sunday morning. It is probably rightly called a Sun-day, for it is the sun that takes charge of you at the onset. But I don’t mind capitulating to it. For me, waking up late on a Sunday is a custom that has to be followed. For what is life without such earthly pleasures? What is the purpose of our existence, staying happy or merely working hard? Why do we slog it out the entire week without a moment of leisure? Alright, I know I’m in exaggeration mode. But sometimes, when you think of it, a late wake-up on Sundays is what you implicitly desire and deserve,  though the more focussed ones amongst you might not openly admit it.

But by and large, we have blatantly started to admit and succumb to the temptation of waking up late on a Sunday. On Sundays, along with the daily newspaper, you get magazines called ‘Brunch’ delivered at your doorsteps. You get up late, having given even your alarm clock an off for the day, and even that little trace of guilt is washed away when you look at the Sunday Brunch Magazine. It makes you feel that the whole world is supposed to be up late on Sundays. Why not?!!

It is on a Sunday morning that you measure the importance of the work that you do, and overrate it. You suddenly start thinking that this is the least you deserve, and probably waking up some minutes even later wouldn’t harm. For what is life without such earthly pleasures? Within seconds, that last trace of guilt is washed away. Incredible!

But, for a change, I thought of breaking the jinx and fighting back this Sunday morning, which has been my nemesis for the past so many years. Honestly, I didn’t really think of doing it. Just that I had slept for more than 14 hrs. in the past 24, I broke the jinx, almost inadvertently!

And I got the most wonderful feeling of the week!! I was thrilled seeing myself rise before everyone else, before my dad, before my mom, before the sun! Why I didn’t mention my brother in this list is because I invariably wake up before he does. In fact, I think he would be the last person to wake up in Delhi. Even the sun gives up by the time my brother wakes up. But then, I think we can grant him that earthly pleasure, because he sleeps late, and is not familiar with the earthly pleasure of sleeping early, or at least, on time.

And by 10:55 AM, the time at which you’d have found me lying on my bed, shell-shocked and rubbing my eyes on another Sunday, I have done so much today! I’ve started my workout regime after so many days of laziness and hope! I finally got the better of my nemesis. And yes, I do need to workout. For I have started to develop a protruding beer belly, despite not drinking any sort of beer! My father expresses ambivalence over my throat’s virginity and I do not want him to think that the belly is due to my throat’s lost virginity! Hence, the workout. I want it to disappear soon.

My mom and dad looked satisfied with me for the first time in 10 years. Seeing me exercise was a delightful sight for dad and the sight of the neatly folded and kept bedsheets and blankets all the more delightful for mom.

So it’s 11 o’clock and I can shamelessly read the Brunch now! I’ve done so much already this day. The workout, the bedsheets, the breakfast, the first blog post! I think I deserve reading the Brunch now. For what is life without such earthly pleasures? Why not??!!